Phonokraft are proud to present their new line of edible radios, the Goudaphonic series. The Version A and Version B cutting board radios introduce a new standard of sonic design, incorporating a host of technologies that have never before been available to the audiophile community.
A Twist of Fate - or Feta?
As Phonokraft left the marsupial transport business to fully focus on sound and trees, we retained the services of the prestigious Pinker & Lunacy market research firm. They were concerned that our new corporate image might be perceived as somewhat "cheesy" by members of the baby-boomer generation. This worried us at first, but in time we realized that we had hit upon an absolute gold mine. Imagine our excitement when we realized that no other company on the face of the earth, since time immemorial, in this solar system or any other, whether bipedal or quadriped, had ever introduced cheese-based audiophile components. Thus was born the elegant simplicity of Goudaphonics.
The Ultra-Low-Resonance Cheddar Chassis
At the foundation of every Goudaphonic product is a revolutionary space frame support structure, composed exclusively of aged cheddar cheese and toothpicks. While we could write entire books on the unique physics of this breakthrough technology, we feel that a picture is even more useful:
NOTE: the American cheese observed in the picture above is an interim solution. It will be replaced with either a) aged cheddar cheese or b) toothpicks as soon as democracy has been established.
Pseudo-Random Resonance Dissipation (PRRD)
In this next photo, notice how structural elements are interposed in a seemingly random fashion. All is not as it seems, however. Each and every iota of cheese in this design has been painstakingly placed in the optimal configuration so as to virtually eliminate resonance, even at the most extreme signal levels.
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